Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

If you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won't wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It's always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It's important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.  

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn't a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren't abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn't a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you're going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don't argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It's easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of �wrongs� that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you're probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can't go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you'll change, etc...This won't help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you'll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You'll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you're allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You'll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

Ex Boyfriend To Get Back Read 5 Simple Tips

It is not easy for you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup. However, there are a few tips that you can follow to have him back again. So many people don’t succeed in winning their ex back.  It's not really our fault.  No one ever handed us an instruction book when we first started dating that taught us how to handle a breakup.  Much less, how to get someone back after a breakup.. If you want your ex boyfriend back then  these 5 simple steps should help achieve your goal:

1.The first tip which will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back is to get your head straight.  You need to get rid of the negative thoughts.  You have to stop feeling sorry for yourself.  You have to be willing to be strong.

Don't let your emotion and especially depression keep you down.  You can't achieve a goal, if you can't keep your emotions in check and your mind clear.  Negative thoughts are destructive behavior.

2.Accept that the relationship in its prior form is over.  All the wishing in the world isn't going to allow you to go back in time and change the way things happened.  You can't let your mind keep wandering into the past.

Focus on what is going on now.  If you realize that the relationship of the past wasn't perfect you're heading in the right direction and laying the foundation for you and your ex boyfriend to get back.  Remember you are most likely glossing over all the bad stuff that happened.  Think about this; the relationship didn't get broke in a day.  Don't expect to be able to fix it in a day either.

3.Don't pester your ex boyfriend.  Guys just don't like it when girls become obsessive about them.  Especially ex boyfriends.  You may want to seek comfort by hearing his voice or seeing his face, but if you really want him back, you must back off for a while.  Don't continuously call him, text message him, email him, or go to his place or where he hangs out just to see him.  Give him time to realize he may have made a mistake.  He may begin to actually miss you.  If you blow it, you may have a tougher time getting him back.

4.Become an object of desire. If you can, get some new makeup.  Get some new clothes. Get a new hairstyle.  If you've picked up a few pounds, start exercising and eating healthy.  When you look good on the outside, you're going to start feeling better about yourself on the inside.  By feeling good on the inside you will be confident and happy.  When you're confident and happy, you will project this image to others.  You will become an object of desire to men.  This includes your ex boyfriend.

5.Take it slow.  If you followed steps 1-4 your ex boyfriend at some point will probably get in touch with you.  Imagine his surprise when he sees the “new” you from step 4.  He will probably be sorry that he broke up with you.  Keep your physical contact with him to a minimum, if you do see him.

Seeing you looking your best and seeing that you've become confident and happy will make him desire you.  If you limit your physical contact with him, this will drive him crazy.  It will probably help to ensure that you don't just jump back into a relationship only to breakup a short time later.

These tips may not be easy for you to do at first.  You may want to give in and call him or see him, but you have to resist the temptation.  These tips will help you and your ex boyfriend to get back after a breakup.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:

· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
· Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
· You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated?  Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship.  But I disagree.  I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it.  This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions.  Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship.  But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray.  There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased.  But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed?  Was the sex humdrum?  Was she too busy for you?  Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect.  So, what needs to be done to fix it?  Often that lies in self analysis.  But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems.  Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough.  The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them.  If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it.  And, do it consistently.  When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed.  This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time.  You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course.  It is not easy for her to forgive the breach.  If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever.  In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building.  Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident.  Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature.  Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time.  It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions.  But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it.  In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."
-Oprah Winfrey

"Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take." -Anthony Robbins

"Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same." -Flavia Weedn

"The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that's why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they've really done is they've shifted their relationship with time." – Caroline Myss

"Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." – Mark Twain

"Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with" ~ Gillian Anderson

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." – Aristotle

"The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart." – Helen Keller

"Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found." – Winston Churchill

"It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations." – Kahlin Gibran

"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person." – Eric Fromm

"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied." ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"You can't stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it's the best thing in the world. When you're in a relationship and it's good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete." ~ Keith Sweat

"Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others." ~ Stephen R. Covey

"Love doesn't just sit there like a stone; it has to be made - like bread, remade all the time, made new." – Ursula LeGuin

"Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it's really no fun lying to 'em anymore." -Norm from Cheers

There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you.

Relationship Advice for Men Look at Evolution to Find a Mate

What is the best relationship advice for men?  What should men know if they want a relationship to work for the long haul?

Probably the single biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually display that they want.

How do they display what they want?  It is as simple as observing what kind of men they choose.

Women say “I want a man who listens to me.”  They choose the man who dominates the conversation.  Women say, “I want a guy with a good sense of humor.”  They date the guy who has money.

Why do women say they want one thing but actually go out with a guy who is just the opposite?  The answer to that question lies in the subconscious motivators for getting together.  And, therein lies my relationship advice for men.

The historical, biological reason for men and women to get together is to propagate the species.  In other words, just because getting pregnant may be the last thing on her conscious mind, when she evaluates a man at the subconscious level, she’s still looking for a good papa for her children.

Is the good dad someone who listens to her?  No, it is someone who will provide for her children.  And, the person who can provide for her children is someone who has the confidence to bring home the bacon.

Women need men who can be good providers.  While a man can produce thousands of sperm on repeated occasions throughout their adult lives, even into their 90’s, women have about 400 chances of producing a baby.  As a result, they are looking for a man who can provide longevity and stability for their babies.

A man who tells a women he is a lawyer and not a paralegal will have a better chance of landing her.  That is because she perceives that a lawyer is a better provider for her future children.

But having a good income is not enough.  A woman needs to perceive that a man is generous with his resources and will provide for her children.  That is why women place such a high value on gifts such as jewelry.

It may also be why the engagement ring must be such a large purchase.  When you ask a woman to marry you, you give her a ring, not just because it is traditional and romantic, but because it is a tangible display that you can provide for her and her children.

Further, even though modern humans make money more from their brains than their brawn, women are still programmed to think of strength equaling the ability to provide.  That’s why, even when there is evidence to the contrary in the form of a tax return, the woman is hardwired to choose the lineman over the computer geek.

So, the biggest piece of relationship advice for men is to figure out what women need from an evolutionary point of view and give it to her.